Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
