i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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