Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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