I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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