pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I want her autograph on my taint
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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