I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
