question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He kissed a someone with a penis
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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