I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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