so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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