everyone is single if you try hard enough
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize