Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
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I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
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Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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