remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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