My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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