if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
