16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
19 Movie Extras Reveal What It’s Like To Work With Celebrities
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.