remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months