I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch