so explain again why im purple
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.