we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have tasted many bathrooms
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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