just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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