Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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