AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
