im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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