He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
