whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
