drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
