Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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