The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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