I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
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