and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
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OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
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I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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