College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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