I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
