it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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