So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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