Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
