i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
