I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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