Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
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On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
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It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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