is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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