Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
