yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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