first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
