it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
