We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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