it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
