Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
