Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize