I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize