Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
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What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
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I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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