you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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