She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
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