you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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