she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
