I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize