there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
