Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
you didnt know i had herpes?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
