apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
