haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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