Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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