Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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