I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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