I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
